It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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