I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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