How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
