Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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