when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
