Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
How's work?
Spinning.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
