Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
