When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
