my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
