Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
