Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
