Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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