I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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