I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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