So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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