On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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