i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I love having hate sex.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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