How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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