i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
