I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
