Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
