Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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