just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
