i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
