Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
