Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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