my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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