Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
