At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
