I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
