Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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