She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
