Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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