Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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