I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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