I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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