porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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