thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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