Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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