If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
