Your dad touched me again.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The best revenge is premature balding
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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