My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
