she woke up with a sticky ear
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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