Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
