yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
