You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
