Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
