pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i think i have herpe
just one?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
