sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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