I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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