I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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