Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
