I hope mine doesn't look like that
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize