Non-Jews are for practice
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Rumble strips road head = magical
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
