it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
