you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
