I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
