ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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