I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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