this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
