WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
