Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
