I think im going to throw up on grandma
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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