someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
did i walk over a car last night?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize