is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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