This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize