How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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