maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm way too hungover for life right now
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
