I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
