There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
